January 3, 2011

I’ve never really done annual reviews in December or January and I haven’t done any this time either. I suppose I could give a recap of the important things that happened last year, or the goals that I’ve set myself for 2011 but the truth is I don’t have any. Everything that occurred and experiences that I had, I learnt lessons, filed them away and moved on. And I don’t set resolutions because I don’t like looking too far in the future. It’s hard to stay present this time of year because often we’re always reflecting about the past or our heads are stuck months ahead in a made-up fantasy world. And all this goes against my aim of just going with the flow and taking things as they come.

What I will say though, is that I feel much more at peace this year. I remember a fleeting sense of panic a year ago, when I didn’t really know where my life was going and I hadn’t figured out ‘a plan’ for anything. I still don’t have any plan today but I feel a kind of tethered freedom, knowing that I won’t fly away like a helium balloon if I allowed both my feet to leave the ground.

So new year, new me? Not really. Life is pretty much as it was. Doesn’t mean I don’t get scared when I read the horoscopes and find out roosters are supposed to have it bad this year (apparently one good month, one neutral month and 10 bad months, fancy that!). I’ve seen the fortune tellers: one who said I could possibly marry in 2012, another who said my primary peach blossom luck ended when I turned 26, yet another who predicted extreme highs and lows in 2011. Whatever they had to say, I’ve heard it all. I’ve had my palms read. I’ve looked at my birth charts, scrutinised all the placements of the planets trying to figure out what they mean. I’ve done all that crazy shit trying to get some answers. But you know what, life is uncertain and I actually can handle a  lot more than what I give myself credit for. So I think I’ll survive and maybe have some fun along the way.


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